Sometimes Being Creative Is Not Enough

I titled this blog Only Creativity Can Save Me. Actually creativity is probably just an escape for me. It doesn't improve my outlook on things and never changes anything. When I am creating something I feel like I am escaping or avoiding if you will the things I cannot handle. I truly wish I was the type of person who could live life and grow with it instead of fighting against it all of the time. I just feel out of sorts continuously so I stay busy because what else is there to do. So many bad things happen to people who live life more fully then me and it hardly seems fair. I seem to just be taking up space and air that would be better used by better people and yet here I am. So to quiet my mind I make things, not great things and not useful things, just things. I bleed out a little of who I am one creation at a time hoping to make sense of myself. A self who I do not recognize any longer. This sense of, existence by happen chance, is overwhelming. Those of you who feel purpose in life give thanks. My existence in this world feels like my art, random creation sometimes good, sometimes bad, mostly just so so. That being said I will post some more creations for examination by a world I do not feel really part of.